SLIDE 01 very serious research

Reasons to date me

01.Dexter already approves.

02.Lolek is considering it.

03.I know food is the fastest route to happiness.

04.I can build you ridiculous little websites like this forever.

SLIDE 02 compatibility test.exe

Compatibility test

100%

Food compatibility

100%

Cat compatibility

3%

My ability to act normal around you

SLIDE 03 known bugs.log

BUG 01: thinks about Emily too much like every sec

BUG 02: easily distracted by good food

BUG 03: may send unnecessary memes

STATUS: no fix planned

SLIDE 04 legal department

Payment accepted in good food and cat pictures.

Good food and cat pictures are accepted currency.

SLIDE 05 application tracker

✓ Application submitted.

STATUS: waiting for Emily.exe response...

ETA: unknown 🤷

SLIDE 06 verified customer reviews

DEXTER

★★★★☆

“acceptable human.”

LOLEK

“needs more treats.”

Rating withheld pending snacks.

SLIDE 07 emergency protocol

Romance levels critical. Replacing feelings with memes immediately. 😂

end of presentation.exe